I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Small penises have feelings too.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
