what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
