Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just high enough for therapy.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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