I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
ttyl tear gas
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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