ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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