Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
