My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
no you cant smoke seaweed
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
