that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Say something about gay babies.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
