I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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