So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Randomize
