do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
