I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize