so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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