His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
they're like a gay fantastic four
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
