Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
