I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
