You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
