Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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