when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
