in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
