I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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