But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
