I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
