i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
