Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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