You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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