if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
