Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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