Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
