So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
