Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She just used a chaser for red wine.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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