ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize