:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
