i used baking grease as lip gloss
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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