he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
