brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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