gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
