Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
