i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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