i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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