Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
