I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
