I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
