new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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