I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
