This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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