Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
