well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Randomize
