just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Sorry about my life...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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