i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
