Are we in a gay sports bar?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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