3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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