sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
