you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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