I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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