ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
