If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
what day is it and did you see me today?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
