is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
