i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
