Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
