I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I think I just sharted jello shots
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
