Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
