Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
